There are a lot of horrible and stupid things on the internet in 2017, but there is also, perpetually, hope.
This time, it’s in the form of Sir Patrick Stewart, veteran thespian and erstwhile poo emoji, trolling comedian and Silicon Valley star Thomas Middleditch in a serious of incessantly savage Instagram posts. It’s absurd and it’s senseless and yet, it’s all that makes sense anymore.
It started Wednesday morning with this extremely English post; Stewart speaks to Middleditch as if the latter is his butler at Downton, and creates a colorful world with as much realism. We want to meet Dagworth Maestro and Willie West, and we will dress in our finest to join Stewart for tea in the rose garden.
One post was enough. More than enough. The wild-eyed image of Middleditch, the shoddy Photoshop — it’s the perfect aesthetic for this random joke. But — bless — it was only the beginning.
Stewart is frugal in doling out compliments to “Middlebitch” (help). He’s good at scouring, but his room smells of fart. Please just imagine the pristine voice of Patrick Stewart saying “fart” for the full effect of this.
Middleditch the Manservant has apparently been slacking as of Thursday morning, when Stewart admonished him for boxing the hedges at the wrong time and neglecting the geraniums. Hang in there, Middleb—nope, not doing it.
The two actors seem to come from completely different worlds, so the obvious explanation would be promoting an upcoming project. They shared a conversation in the ongoing “Actors on Actors” series in 2016. Before that, Middleditch shared an anecdote about Stewart on Conan that may have been the beginning of this bizarre friendship.
Middleditch is well in on the fun, posting his own retaliatory #content as Stewart rolls out an arsenal.
MIDDLEBITCH BITES BACK.
This one is savage.
This story is developing.