Well, I might not be some big city lawyer …

Image: Denver Post via Getty Images

I dare say, I won’t stand for all of you besmirching my client, Mr. Trump.

To get to him, you’ll have to get through me and my magnificent mustache. My name is Ty Cobb and winning runs in my veins. I’m a high-powered lawyer who represented people in the Clinton administration, and I’m a distant relative of The Georgia Peach himself, Ty Cobb, the baseball player. 

It’s unconscionable that you would accuse my client, Donald J. Trump, and his associates of inappropriate contact with the Russians just because of evidence. Why, I’d challenge you to a duel, but I’m enjoying a tasty mint julep on a riverboat.

Good day to you! 

(The imaginary statement above was inspired by Twitter.)

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